What Jeremy Lin should teach Asian-Americans

We can safely assume the feel-good story of the year is the meteoric rise of Jeremy Lin from bench warming D-leaguer to the NBA record books in the span of a week. His story is indeed inspirational. A talent that is so long ignored, suddenly blossoms in the prototypical american dream fashion, and captivates a nation and the world in the process. What's there not to love?

But deeper down there's a much more interesting issue, one that is not so comfortably talked about in a sports bar. Jeremy's rise is all the more surprising because he is Asian. He had to deal with stereotypes and discriminations both overt and otherwise during his entire career. It probably contributed a large part to him being ignored for so long.

Today, I read an article about how Asian-Americans are all cheering for him because they finally found a star that they could relate. The final sentence struck me as profoundly telling:

There was a pause in the conversation. Daniel Chao spoke up. "I mean," he said, in a slightly stunned voice, "an Asian-American dunked."

Why is Daniel Chao surprised? Of course, I don't mean to single out Mr. Chao, but the question remains. In other words, why are Asian-Americans surprised that one of us can dunk?

Stereotypes such as Asian-Americans are bad at sports, or that we are all nerdy or that we can't sing are already fait accompli. We cannot do anything about the fact that stereotypes exist. What we can do is choose to break these stereotypes. It always takes a few pioneers to show us the way. Jeremy Lin certainly never doubted that he could dunk, otherwise he couldn't have gotten so good at basketball. Sure there's natural talent in him, but talent is nothing if not molded by endless hours of practice.

Stereotypes are dangerous, but doubly more so when we, the people stereotyped, start to believe in it ourselves. Should we be surprised if tomorrow a Korean-American R&B songtress wins a grammy, or a Japanese-American quarterback leads his team to the NCAA championships? They would be the firsts, the pioneers, the change makers, just like Jeremy Lin became this week. But whatever we do, we should not believe it is not possible just because it has not happened yet.

It is only a matter of time before Asian-Americans break out in sports, music, movies and business. Let's not be surprised anymore. We are individuals with individual talents. We just need to believe in ourselves more and pursue our dreams with guts and heart. The operating mentality should be: if it hasn't been done before, then I'll be the first. It's working out pretty well for Jeremy.

I am the egg

Today, flying across my Facebook feed, someone I barely knew, that I met ever briefly, so long ago, posted a link. And it spoke to me in a very meaningful way.

The post was Haruki Murakami's acceptance speech when he won the Jerusalem Prize back in 2009. He delivered a simple personal message, the one thing that he keeps in his mind when he writes fiction. He said,

Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg.

In the metaphor, the "high, solid wall" is the System, and the "egg that breaks against it" is the individual. There are many ways the System manifest itself. This takes on meaning both on the greater world stage and in my own humble existence.

In Libya, the system was an authoritarian dictator who for 42 years ruled by violence, persecution and fear. The eggs are the thousands of people, students, farmers and tradesmen that rose against it.

In Zuccotti Park, the system is the impersonal financial and political hegemony maintained by the rich and powerful. The eggs are the laid off workers who have no more to lose, the middle class that watched their dreams squashed, and the retirees whose pension is worth less by the day.

And in my life, as an entrepreneur, the system represents big corporations, other startups with a lot more funding and clout, and users with their established habits and resistance. Up against all that, is me. I am the egg.

I've been smashed against this wall before. But there is hope, there's always hope. If the events in Libya is any indication, sometimes the egg can be stronger than the wall.

Smart woman and wise words from 320 years ago

In 1691, a nun living in Mexico City (then under the Spanish Crown), wrote a long letter. Her words echoed for 320 years, and finally found their way to me this weekend, proving once again that S/he who writes well, lives forever.

Sister Juana Ines de la Cruz was a prodigy, but born of the wrong sex (or the right one from my perspective). At a time where educated women were practically nonexistant, a woman with curiosity and intellect is frowned upon, discouraged, and ridiculed. Sister Juana is one of the first feminist, a feminist by example. Although three centuries later, women's rights have advanced light years since her time, we still find that men feel more threatened by a smart woman than by a pretty one.

The letter Reply to Sister Filotea, is one part apology, one part autobiography, and one part argument against the status quo. Her writing rivals and even surpasses the best writers of her day. Her shewed arguments quoting everything from the Bible to classical texts from Greek and Latin, demonstrates the depth of her learning while her use of both logical arguments and rhetoric skills demonstrates the quickness of her wit.

In the letter she detailed how in her childhood she secretly learned to read at the age of 3, and her insatiable appetite for knowledge drives her inexorably towards learning. Apart from the woman who taught her how to read and write, she had no formal schooling since her parents rejected her idea of dressing up as a boy to attend school. Instead, she learned by herself, from books.

But what may be offered as an exoneration is that I undertook this great task without benefit of teacher, or fellow students with whom to confer and discuss, having for a master no other than a mute book, and for a colleague, an insentient inkwell...

The desire to learn is so strong within her, she thought of nothing else. At her time, the only path available to her is to become a nun, so that she can devote the most amount of time to learning and reading.

Her intelligence is such that she did achieve quite a bit of fame in her time. However it was not, in her words, [sailing] before the wind across calm seas for her as there were a number of aroused vipers, hissing their emulations and their persecutions. Of these persecutions she writes:

Whatever eminence, whether that of dignity, nobility, riches, beauty, or science, must suffer this burden; but the eminence that undergoes the most severe attack is that of reason... because it is the most defenseless, for riches and power strikes out against those who dare attack them; but not so reason, for while it is the greater it is more modest and long-suffering, and defends itself less...

And of those who attacks her, she writes:

One will abide, and will confess that another is nobler than he, that another is richer, more handsome, and even that he is more learned, but that another is richer in reason scarecely any will confess: Rare is he who will concede genius. That is why the assault against this virtue works to such profit.

A large part of the letter was devoted to arguing for the education of women. She argues that to properly understand the Bible, women will have to be taught languages, music, geometry, history, architecture, etc. And retorts, from a theological point of view, the words of the Apostle: Let women keep silence in the churches, does not prohibit women from learning and being taught in private. Furthermore, she shrewedly expounds:

... not only women, who are held to be so inept, but also men, who merely for being men believe they are wise, should be prohibited from interpreting the Sacred Word if they are not learned and virtuous and of gentle and well-inclined natures... For there are many who study but are ignorant, especially those who are in spirit arrogant, troubled and proud...

She also cites numerous examples of learned women in bibliocal, mythological, and historical examples, and these women of intelligence are both revered and respected. Afterwards she presents a very logical argument (given her time and values), for the education of women:

... because of the considerable idleness to which our poor women have been relegated, if a father desires to provide his daughters with more than ordinary learning, he is forced by necessity, and by the absence of wise elder women, to bring men to teach the skills... from which no little harm results, as is experienced every day in doleful example of perilous association... as that of familiarity with men, which quandary could be prevented if there were learned elder women...

Finally Sister Juana concludes that in the end, all her struggles have made her better instead of worse. She writes:

... I fear applause more than calumny, because the latter, with but the simple act of patience becomes gain, while the former requires many acts of reflection and humility and proper recognition so that it not become harm.

It never ceases to amaze me that her wisdom is as valid today as the day it was written. And her style of writing, is as fluid and graceful now as it was 320 years ago. In a single letter three centuries past Sister Juana proved that progress of humanity starts with the equality of the sexes.

One Thought at 29

I'm 29 today, and I'm overwhelmed by one thought and one thought alone. That to do anything worthwhile it takes an inordinate amount of time.

I've spent the past 6 months, working on a single iphone app. And it's still not finished. Even after it launches, to fulfill our vision for the product and the company it will take at least 5 years. A VC can invest in dozens of companies in one year. An entrepreneur can only work on one (great) idea every five years.

Putting things in perspective. It took Steve Jobs 14 years to turn Apple into the world-dominating force it is today. My dad spent 6 years to get his PhD in computer science. James Cameron took 4 years to make Avatar and Christopher Nolan needed almost 2 years to make Inception, and this is not counting the years they spent learning the craft of moviemaking.

To a single mortal human being, these numbers are oppressively large. Unlike money, time does not scale. And unlike money, there's no place from which to obtain more. Time is a hard limit. Harder than the principles of economics, the rules of psychology, even the laws of physics.

I'm a dreamer. I have a lot of dreams and all need time to realize. There's really only one thing to do: pick the most worthwhile ones and execute with greater urgency and efficiency.

That is the best I can do.

Start With Why

Every year I read a book that changes my life. I'm lucky this year because I found the book in February. Start With Why, written by a business consultant named Simon Sinek comes at the exact juncture in my life that I needed its message the most.

I was tuned into Simon after I saw the video of a TED talk that he did (embedded at the end). Normally I don't read books by consultants, but his talk made a lot of sense and became one of my favorite TED talks of all time. If you don't have time to read the book, at least watch the video, and if you're like me, you will probably buy the book afterwards.

The basic premise is very simple: great leaders (and companies) communicate with the outside world in the opposite way that everyone else communicates. Great leaders start with why, whereas everyone else starts with what.

This is best illustrated with a concrete example (my own).  I've always been a fan of BMW. I consider myself a loyal customer of BMW, despite the fact that I've never owned a BMW. BMW is a great company, and they communicate with why first. If BMW started with what, like everyone else, their marketing message will be something like:

Our cars are luxurious, well engineered, beautifully designed... buy our car.

But that's not how they actually communicate. This is the message that I actually hear:

If you're someone that strives for perfection, boy do we have a car for you.  It has 50/50 weight distribution, meticulously designed, and luxurious.  Want to buy one?

Sure, they don't actually say this word for word, but the message is consistent, and it's actually what I hear. Since I am someone who strives for perfection, BMW is my car company. The funny thing was, until I read this book, I couldn't tell you why I liked BMW so much. Now I can. I want a BMW orders of magnitudes more than I want a Mercedes, and what is the real difference between the two?

The real difference is that, in the words of Simon, people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it. Sure, you can manipulate people to buy your stuff by cutting prices, use peer pressure, or fear mongering. But those tactics don't generate loyalty. And loyalty is ultimately what you want.

This is a profound realization for me. Since I am in the process of powering up my 4th start-up, I've been struggling over the why before I even realized it. On Sunday, I finally answered the question, and suddenly everything, past, present and future became crystal clear. This is one of those head-out-of-the-cloud moment for me. Even more so, I'm trying to distill the why for me personally. Why do I wake up in the morning? Why do I do the things I do, and care about the things I care? This is a bit harder because I'm driven by many different feelings and they occur in parts of the brain with no capacity for language. But knowing what this did to my professional life, it also has the ability to profoundly influence my personal life.

Philosophical questions aside, Simon also presents very real and very practical things. For example, how does knowing why actually help you and your company? Or how do you go about finding your why?

If you don't believe me, check out the video first:

Love is a Battlefield

Valentine's day is the most commercialized holiday behind Christmas. I have a strange relationship with this day for the past few years. Every year on February 14th, I become reflective, almost philosophical. This year is no different.

Today, I am thinking about love. To be perfectly honest, love and I have a difficult relationship. Somehow, I was born with plenty of analytical intelligence and a deficit in emotional intelligence. This is a recent realization and it exposed to me just how imperfect of a human being I really am.

For the past few years, I've tried to get better at love, loving, and being loved. The road wasn't always smooth. But just looking back 2 years, I realized how far I've come. Sometimes, I think the journey may end soon, but after climbing over one mountain, another taller mountain looms in the distance. And suddenly, I am reminded: Love is a battlefield.

Love means battling your demons everyday. To me, this means facing my own shortcomings every waking second. My insecurities sometimes get the better of me. Sometimes I slip and fall down the mountain. Unfortunately, as in a real battlefield, love can be cruel and unforgiving. One false step and I must start over. And so, like Sisyphus, I often find myself walking down that hill to that awaiting rock.

If the story of Sisyphus is a tragedy, I have hopes that mine is not. Unlike our Greek hero, every time I roll that rock, I learn something new. I am a different person every time. The hill is different every time. And so is the rock. I know in that paradise I'm headed, there will be no rocks and no hills.

How do I know? I've seen it from a distance. My parents have been married for close to 30 years now. They are more in love now than I have ever seen them to be before and their love is only growing stronger. If I have to be Sisyphus, so that one day I may know the love that they know now, then I will gladly bear my burden.

Valentine's day isn't made for companies like Visa or Hallmark. Valentine's day is made for couples like my parents. It is with their love that they inspire the rest of us.

Happy Valentine's Day, mom and dad!

The American Dream is Not Dead

Today I got into a discussion with a person I met, whose view point I disagreed completely. I made a passing remark that in this country, anyone who really wanted to can obtain a college education. She disagreed and said, "just look around in Oakland... the numbers show that this is the first time where the next generation will do worse than their parents" and ended by concluding that the American Dream is dead.

Now, it's been awhile I had to debate people and I was unable to adequately make my point before the conversation abruptly ended. I was really bothered by this type of attitude. It is fatalistic, uninspired, and in my opinion totally wrong.

I'm not going to argue against the numbers, as I don't know them or where she got them. Even if it is true, it doesn't mean what she thinks it means. I agree the system is imperfect. A child growing up in East Oakland has a lot less going for them than a child growing up in Pac Heights. That is a difference in circumstances of life, which occurs everywhere in the world. In China, in Brazil, in France, there are the haves and have nots. Class differences exists all over the world.

But the point I want to get at, is that the American system is still fundamentally meritocratic. That child growing up in East Oakland, is not deprived of the opportunity of going to college. Sure, it may involve much more hard work, but it is not impossible. Upward mobility does exist. That is the American Dream.

We live in a country where fifty years ago, a black man cannot use the same toilet as a white man in large parts of the country. Yet fifty years later, we have a black president. Show me another country where this is possible. The American Dream is for those with willpower and the willingness to work. No one said the American Dream is easy. It's not a handout... it is something to be earned.

I think a lot of intellectuals suffer from excessive cynicism. True, the system should be improved so that the bottom of the class hierarchy can achieve more class mobility. However, we cannot discount individual accountability. On the contrary, we need to promote it. It is true that child from East Oakland can go to college, or become president. The difference lies in how much he/she want it, and how much he/she is willing to work for it. There is nothing intrinsic in the system that makes it impossible.

As long as the possibility exists, the American Dream will be alive. 90% of start-ups fail. Yet I'm still an entrepreneur after two years, because I don't believe the numbers apply to me. Others before me have done it, and if I couldn't do it, it would be entirely my fault. That is individual will.

Lastly, this is not a liberal vs conservative issue. Individual will and success, and even the American Dream, is often associated with the rhetoric of the right. But I'm a liberal. Even liberals, need to believe in the American Dream. The dream that one person, whether it be Susan B Anthony or Martin Luther King, can make a difference. Individual will and action can change the system to make our world better. What is, is not all that it can be.

The American Dream is very much alive.

New Blog

The past year has been an incredible journey. So much has happened it felt like I got 5 years worth of experience all compressed, squished and jammed into one. Not only did I do more things and had more things done to me, I felt more. I felt more alive than ever before. It is as though I took a trip to explore the range and depth of emotions: anger to frustration, exhilaration and love, sadness yet joy. But those emotions also came with crystal clear realizations of life.

Proust once wrote,

We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

For the first time, I think I'm beginning to discover wisdom. It is as if I woke up one day and started to understand life. And I believe that with understanding, mastery is sure to follow.

Unfortunately the more I did, the less I wrote. Today I decided it was time to start a brand new blog. Who knows when the journey might end, or change, or become incomprehensible again. I can't promise everything I write will be enlightening or brilliant or even interesting, but at least there will be some kind of public record of me waking up daily in this beautiful city by the bay and the metaphorical awakening that I'm only beginning to realize.