Posted by James
Wed, 21 Mar 2007 04:16:00 GMT
This week, I'm awarding my prestigious DotW award to the National Football League. According to this article, the NFL tried to play offense with the DMCA, but fumbled or, more accurately, sacked.
So, it's okay to send DMCA take-down notices, but if you receive a counter notice from, say, a law professor who happened to be on the staff of EFF, then you might want a few of your own lawyers to look at it. But it turns out the NFL in the process of using the DMCA has violated the DMCA. Ironic? Yes. Stupid? You bet.
Posted in Dumbass of the Week | no comments
Posted by James
Mon, 26 Feb 2007 23:10:00 GMT
This past weekend, a bunch of friends and I went to South Lake Tahoe for a little fun. It became quite an adventure, at least for me. I think the word, "epic" (adj. definition #2) has been used quite a few times to describe what happened.
I'll post the short version. The long version will probably fill up 18 pages.
There were 6 of us in total and we took 2 cars. I drove the second car and we left Berkeley a bit later on Saturday (around 10 am instead of 8 am). Half an hour after departure, I get my first speeding ticket on I-80. I was apparently going 80 mph but the speed limit was 65 mph. I guess I was just too used to driving on the interstate in Texas where the speed limit is 75, and going 80 is probably slow. The cop was just being an asshole since he needed to fill his monthly quota at the end of the month, and I happened to get caught. But I wasn't going to let that ruin the weekend.
We get to Tahoe and by then it's almost 2 pm. The slopes close around 4 pm, so my friend and I decided to ski on Sunday instead. After I rented some ski clothes (for dirt cheap... like less than $5), we went to the casino. Now mom and dad, you might want to skip to the next paragraph. I played in my first game of poker at a real casino. I was nervous as hell, but I did well. As it turns out, my entire weekend, including the speeding ticket, has been paid for. I only played for an hour.
Then after a big dinner, we went clubbing and bar hopping. By then it was snowing pretty hard. To be honest, there weren't actually that many choices of bars and clubs to go to, after all, it's not Vegas. We had a lot of fun (especially when I tried to get girls to buy me drinks). I even met up with a friend from back in my college days.
The next morning, snow has turned into a blizzard. Most of the slopes were closed. But we went anyways. And by the way, I have never skied or snowboarded in my entire life (nevermind the fact that I grew up in Canada). And somehow we went to a slop that is intermediate, and they have no lesson packages. So, to keep a long story short, let me say this: learning to ski during a blizaard (visibility at about 25 feet), on a steep hill (with trees and rocks) for intermediate skiers, with no prior instruction is probably a dumbass thing to do (at the entrance to the lifts, there was a big red sign that said "No Beginners" and now I know why). For that feat, I award myself this week's Dumbass of the Week. In the middle of my attempt at getting down the slope without killing myself, I get a cell phone call, one of my friends saying that we had to leave because the conditions are so bad, the roads will be closed. Needless to say, that was the worst introduction to skiing, ever. On the plus side, I'm still alive with all my limbs intact and the next time when I really learn to ski, it will seem so easy.
Getting out of Tahoe was an adventure in itself. No, getting out of the ski resort was an adventure in itself. At one point, going up the hill, my car had to be pushed because it kept on slipping on the ice, even with chains. Then the road out of South Lake Tahoe was completely backed up. We spent hours just idling (we clocked our progress at a neck-breaking 0.5 miles per hour). By the time it was 6 pm, we still haven't even reached the most mountainous stretch of US-50. My friend and I made the pretty easy decision of stopping for the night at a near-by motel. We figured driving at night, with blowing snow, icy roads, in a Corolla, with two tired people, and unfamiliar mountain terrain filled with bumper to bumper traffic is probably not the best of ideas. We agreed that sometimes, it's okay to gamble with money but it's never okay to gamble with our lives. But the other car filled with my other friends decided to push on (they made it back to Berkeley at midnight, after a total travel time of 11 hours over a distance of about 170 miles). Instead, my friend and I ate a wonderful dinner at a local Italian restaurant, watched the last parts of the Academy Awards, took a hot shower and passed out in our beds at 10 pm. That was the smartest thing I did all weekend.
We left Tahoe this morning at 8:45 am. We got back to Berkeley at 1 pm. I missed a few meetings, but still alive.
That was one surreal weekend.
Posted in My Life, In Depth, Poker, Dumbass of the Week | 4 comments
Posted by James
Thu, 15 Feb 2007 21:57:00 GMT
Now that I'm awarding this DotW award every week, it might feel like the prestige of this award is being diminished. But I assure you, it's not. If anything, the more dumbass I award it to, the better the award becomes. So this week, I award the DotW to Mr. Tim Hardaway, formerly of the NBA, who played for the Miami Heat from 1996 to 2001. I've never heard of him because I don't really follow the NBA, but I think he might be black.
But that's not the reason why he's getting this award (playing for the Miami Heat, that is, I don't know what you're thinking). He's a dumbass because he admitted, on the radio, that he hates gay people. And he said gay people shouldn't "be in the world" or participate in sports in the United States. That's pretty, uh, gay considering his name, Hard-A-Way, is basically the name of seventeen different gay porn stars. Now if only his first name was Richard, the joke would be complete.
Seriously though, gay bashing, that's not cool. Gay bashing on public radio? That's just plain dumb. I don't care if he's retired or just retarded, that man has some serious issues. So he's officially this week's dumbass.
Posted in Dumbass of the Week | 1 comment
Posted by James
Tue, 06 Feb 2007 01:08:00 GMT
This has to be the weirdest news I have ever seen. It appears that Captain Lisa Nowak became the first astronaut to be arrested. For kidnapping! Apparently she, married with 3 children, was having an affair with another astronaut, and somehow became insanely jealous of another woman. It gets better. Captain Nowak drove all the way from Houston to Miami, in a diaper, in order to catch the other woman at the airport. Then she tried to threaten the aforementioned woman with pepper spray and a BB gun, leading to her subsequent arrest. (Give yourself a minute for this to sink in...)
Um... okay. Did I mention she's a freaken astronaut? And she went to space last year? Since when did NASA become the Maury Povich Show? I was under the impression that astronauts undergoes intense psychological screening and conditioning. Driving around in a diaper? I'm assuming she left her mind in space when she returned. Oh and this other astronaut, Commander William Oefelein, must have been a hell of a pilot in bed, since apparently having sex with him is more psychologically taxing than the vacuum of space! The NASA spokesperson was quoted as saying there are no rules against astronauts fraternizing with eachother. Uh... yeah, because astronauts are supposed to be smart (or we're led to believe). I'm sure there's also no rules against astronauts licking frozen metal poles... it's just freakin common sense!
I swear, you just can't make this shit up... So, without further ado, I award Captain Lisa Nowak the Dumbass of the Week award, and a lifetime supply of shame and unemployment.
Posted in Dumbass of the Week, Internet People | 3 comments
Posted by James
Wed, 24 Jan 2007 01:27:00 GMT
A friend came up to me today and remarked that I haven't been blogging as much as before. That is true. It's just recently I haven't found anything profound to say. Besides, I'm trying this going to bed early and getting up early thing, which interferes with my original blogging schedule.
It's been eons since I awarded the prestigious DotW award to anyone. But today, I found an worthy recipient in the unnamed employee of Bargain Suppliers in Milwaukee. It appears, their policy of not shipping to Iraq could have been better communicated.
Seriously, if you don't agree with the war... fine, neither do I. But it's probably not appropriate to communicate this over a sales inquiry. Honestly, where did that guy learn to do business? And thank Allah to the power of the internet, such mistakes gets magnified into a fiery controversy. I really feel sorry for the owners of the business because through no fault of their own (other than hiring a total dumbass to do customer support), they're forced to halt their business.
Posted in My Life, In Depth, Dumbass of the Week | no comments
Posted by James
Thu, 21 Dec 2006 22:06:00 GMT
Today, I bestow the special festivus Dumbass of the Week award to the Honorable House Representative from Virginia, Mr. Virgil H. Goode Jr., a member of the (can you guess) Republican party. It would appear Mr. Goode sent a letter warning the people about electing Muslims to office and advocated limiting immigration (from Muslim countries, one supposes) so that we could "preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America."
This all comes as a response to the first Muslim elected to the US House of Representatives, and his decision to have a private swear-in ceremony using the Holy Koran. It appears this has some of our most upstanding citizens concerned, because as we all know, only the Holy Bible can be used to swear anyone into office, as only the Christian God has the power to lightning-bolt those that lie and cheat. I myself, if I ever get elected to anything, will probably use a Webster's Dictionary for the swear-in (I fully expect Webster to reach out from the grave and choke me if I fail to uphold my duties in office).
What get me most angry is that to these people, separation of church and state really means separation of other people's church and state.
Posted in Dumbass of the Week | 1 comment
Posted by James
Tue, 12 Dec 2006 22:55:00 GMT
It's been eons since I awarded my last Dumbass of the Week, but this week, I continue my fine tradition and award a DotW to His Excellency, the Prime Minister of Israel, Ehud Olmert. In an interview today, Mr. Olmert basically confirmed that Israel is a nuclear power. Ironically, he was in Germany discussing the problem of nuclear proliferation and Iran.
Basically, in one sentence, decades of denial and ambiguity went down the tubes. Sure, everyone already knew that Israel has the bomb ("da bomb" as it is known in Jerusalem), but confirmation from top Israeli officials is something else entirely. They basically just handed Iran the excuse they needed, and who knows, maybe Saudi Arabia will want to jump on the band wagon too (why not, they've got a few gazillion dollars just lying around). So, good job Mr. Olmert. Way to promote peace and stability.
Posted in Dumbass of the Week | 6 comments
Posted by James
Thu, 09 Nov 2006 16:31:00 GMT
This is only thing I'm going to write about the recent election. I noticed an alarming trend. It seems that people that received Dumbass of the Week award have a difficult time getting elected to the senate (or the house for that matter). Take for example, the former senator from Virginia George Allen, he didn't get elected. Or look at the former senator from Pennsylvania Rick Santorum, likewise he did not survive the election. Additionally, Tan Nguyen was bitch-slapped like an unwanted Guatemalan orphan at the polls.
Fortunately for everyone, John Kerry wasn't up for re-election, so my record is 3 for 3. You heard it first here!
Posted in Random Ramblings, Dumbass of the Week | no comments
Posted by James
Tue, 07 Nov 2006 17:40:00 GMT
Finally the inevitable happened. No... i'm not talking about the Democrats sweeping congress. More important than that: Britney files for divorce!
Looks like she finally got fed up with K-Fed. It appears that she cited "irreconcilable differences", but what she really should've cited is "severe retardation". On the bright side, she did get two (possibly brain damaged) kids out of the marriage, so it's not all lost. Once again we see that redneck celebrity marriages take less time than grad school (but slightly more fun I think).
And for consolation prize, Kevin Federline has just won the coveted Dumbass of the Week award. Congratulations all around.
Posted in Dumbass of the Week, Internet People | no comments
Posted by James
Thu, 02 Nov 2006 02:06:00 GMT
This week, the prestigious DotW award goes to the Honorable Junior Senator from Massachusettes, Mr. John Kerry for not being able to deliver a joke properly.
He gave the Republicans an excellent excuse to change the subject and get on the offensive. If there's an award for Foot-in-Mouth, then he'd win that one too. Right now pundits are undecided whether this will hurt the Democrats or the Republicans. But I don't care about that... all I'm saying is, rehearse before you tell a joke... dumbass!
Posted in Dumbass of the Week | 1 comment
